Well, another year has passed in this thing that we call unlife. While we all set our goals for the upcoming year, let’s take a minute to go back in time and remember what we shouldn’t do again. I present to you the ten most stupid things/vampires in the city in 2006. I even have gifts! So, without further adieu:
jimmher and shaarinya: Poor unlife decisions all the way around caused you two to be the targets of two clans and a bloodline. I’m sure there were more, but it’s hard to keep track of all the zeroings’ *hands you guys a copy of ‘Dummies for Dummies’.
EvilBill: You had a highly anticipated return and you squandered it on gathering your crew to kill Nonion’s partner and getting zeroed by your ex-wife. I want my money back.
PTBarnum and Secret: On back to back days, you threw vampires out into the street in an attempt to fix LoSD. Well, since I now have most of your leaders, the current Queen was zeroed, and another clan’s student was deemed worthy of an advisor role, I present the two of you with these fine paper bags to hide your heads when in public. Seriously, what you were THINKING?
Avigon: In similar fashion, you locked out the majority of the leadership of your clan. In turn, they had the remaining members raze your records and leave to create a new entity. I present to you this key. Notice the X mark on it? That’s to remind you that keys don’t equal leadership.
The ReRe Collection: To Nonion, matej, fluffy, Ravyne, Thom, Deth, DarkestDesire, Exile, Ms Errie, Daemon, and anyone else who fits the criteria. Thank you for being yourself. It makes the rest of us feel better about ourselves. Helmets for everyone!
Sartori: To listening to the advice of the demented and allowing it to factor in to your clan decisions, for not finishing anything you start, and for being so arrogant as to proclaim to others that your duel with Shikon would be a cakewalk due to her relative inexperience, only to have her hang with you. Here is a big stick. Talk a bit less and carry this a bit more.
Crazyinblack: You had an ENTIRE clan and you couldn’t kill Tejas. What. The. Hell. I would give you a book on strategy, but you did wisen up and give your clan over to someone that had sense enough to end the idiocy and tuck away from the public eye. So’here’s a stupid stick. Enjoy hitting yourself with it.
Warriors of Eternity: You have such a badass name, yet deep shadows seems to be your primary strategic maneuver. That is NOT being a warrior. You can have the fresh copy of my warring strategy manual that I didn’t give Crazyinblack.
To the idiot who thought putting Hesu on the Wheel of Freaks was a good idea: I’m sure it appeared to be a good strategic maneuver at the time, but wow’that one really bit you in the ass. Here is a picture of the old Church before it was burned to the ground for your scrapbook.
Murrz, Sinthetik and the rest of the old Seraphim: Your clan came up with the intelligent idea of zeroing Capadocious, allowed several members of your clan to fall in combat, and then not only surrendered, but then acknowledged Cap as the Prince of the city. If that wasn’t stupid enough, a few weeks later, your lot attempted to use loopholes to claim that you didn’t really make the acknowledgement. I would give you a gift, except unlife seems to be punishment enough.
So, there you have it folks’the 10 most stupid things/vampires in the city. I give my thanks to Hesu, Asmia, and ophelia for helping me realize that the city was much more stupid last year than I originally thought.
I’m not even going to end this column with my usual catchphrase, since all this stupidity is questioning my faith in vampiric kind. Just picture me shaking my head. Until next time.
I would like to point out yet again that it was not my idea to kill Capadocious and start that war. Yes I did the negotiating for ending the war, but it was a Clan majority vote which decided to go for a surrender. Not that I am blameless :P but I do wish people would realise it was NOT all my idea nor all my fault.
Murrz ó Cionaoith Forever Bound to Arsanga
nods in agreement and smiles As usual..well said Seyda
ophelia Lokason af Gyllenstierna NiF’s Eternally Yggdrasil
Ten? You could only find TEN?
Funny thing is about Avigon, is that she had all of the Old Seraphim records before all but the main hall was razed.
Spinner The Corridor The Ferrymen