Well, I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve sat at my office here at the Grimoire Headquarters and cranked out a column for printing. So as I sit here attempting to pick a topic, I realize that although several things have happened in the city while I was on hiatus, everything still drones on and on. Binding here, zero there, whining here, stupidity there. The names and faces may change, but the general premise is still there. How unfortunate. So, since there isn’t any one remarkable thing to write about, you get stuck with my potentially insipid ramblings about unlife as I have seen it since my last column. Aren’t you excited?
The last time anyone has really heard anything substantial about me, Republic Enterprises was in full swing and I was engaging in rather lucrative affairs. For those of you weren’t aware, some entity in the city who thought that taking my blood would bother me hired The Splinters to bleed me dry. Instead of garnering the response I’m sure the contractor was looking for, I instead spun it around and launched my own pay to burn program. For those of you aware and wondering what the results of the program were, I ended up with 11 paying hitters and two folks dropping off donations for the cause. I ended up making 300,000 coins off my own zeroing, which according to reports, is approximately 80K more than the Splinters would have received to carry out the contract. Good times.
Now, let’s look at the winners and losers of this particular situation. Me. I made some coin, I threw a party, I had about a million wargasms, and got to take a weeklong nap. I basically got paid 75,000 a night to stand outside in the freezing ass cold, walk back and forth, and make fun of a rather unimpressive group who fumbled their way into a zero. I think personally, I did okay. Now let’s look at the Splinters. For every shot I took away from them by selling myself, their profit margin grew. Not bad. I bet WhiteLighter was standing around going ‘Oh man, this is so cool. Cha-Ching! Cha-Ching!’ But, the money came at a cost; because I had nothing better to do than pick apart the entire procedure. I’m still waiting for my survey to fill out in the mail. So, was the money worth the reputation hit? That’s up to them to determine, I suppose. Finally, the contractor. Someone who had enough of a hate Seyda hard on to pay to have me zeroed. Obviously someone who thinks that the loss of blood would bother me, and so my guess would be someone who has enough knowledge of Republic affairs to know that is something I push, but never close enough to me to actually know why’smiles sweetly in the direction of the Scions, I.D.C, and Heorot Or it could be someone who allowed the anonymity of the contract to cloud their vision and left one too many clues via conversation or the trusty old public diary system. All the possibilities’
Moving right along, after my slumber, I woke up and saw What The get zeroed by the Unholy Alliance, a declaration from AQelDroma that the plan was to show the city the type of vampire that What The is, a demand for the remaining Alliance of Fire members to publicly denounce What The in order to be left alone, most of those members telling AQel to go eat a phallic object and taking their zeroes, and then a very anti-climactic announcement ending the war officially. What a buzz kill. Heorot had it going, I have to admit. What The was dead, which would be an indicator that at least part of the city was in agreement with the words that were being stated. So, where did it go from a show of strength to something that made the city’s citizens flip eagerly to any other section of the paper? When the reasons changed. Let me explain. When What The fell, if the announcement would have been made and the war ended, Heorot would have flown out of the gate. Not only would they have gotten their point across, but would also have presented as compassionate and caring for the ones who they claimed were being manipulated. Instead, the demand to publicly denounce What The was made. At that point, the reason for the war changed again, and it was no longer about What The, but about the power trip of having others do their bidding. When they basically got the double finger salute, they lost momentum, and the announcement ending the war was for the most part met with a lack of caring. But, congratulations are in order, I suppose.
I also learned that I need to announce a new Ego King in the city. My first order of business after my hiatus was to assist in a conference one of my alliance co-leaders was having with another clan. The nutshell version is, a vampire attacked a member in the alliance, was given time to explain, didn’t, so he got his rump handed to him. His sire attacked back based on the erroneous information given to her by her childer. She got rocked, too. In response, she flapped off at the gums, saw her blood dropping, and ran to a neutral clan to protect her. Well, said neutral clan, who apparently is all knowing, all powerful, and is run by the best vampire to come along since RavenBlack himself, comes crawling to see what my co-leader would want in order for the attacks to stop. Let’s ignore the fact that if they would have just sent her to the Peacekeeper’s right off, the problem would be solved. So, my co-leader sends what he would want. Neutral clan balks at one of the three criteria and begin swinging around their might, their most powerful alliance, their Grand Duke who hasn’t done anything in years, and their bank. So at this point, I come in, tell Mr. Ego that his resume doesn’t matter and that he was mistaken in his thought of the conversation being a negotiation, as it wasn’t. So then my co-leader was fortunate enough to receive a missive from the Grand Ego explaining that since the negotiations broke down, the pire in question would just go get neutrality. Well, if he was so smart, why did he not figure out that he could have just done that from the beginning? Anyhoo, take that long winded explanation and couple it with the ego trip he bestowed on my wife after taking two scrolls of turning from her during a war, and you see why we have a new winner. Someone who thinks they matter to the masses, over promote their neutral clan, take a full day to figure out that neutrality stops holy water, and thought that someone reading two scrolls of turning in the direction of a vampire with a lot of blood with a pink jumpsuit on was deliberate, and you totally have my new Ego King of the city. So, Beljeferon, please accept your trophy’holds out a needle to assist with deflation
Okay, I know that the glaze is certainly covering your eyes at this point, but this is what you get when I’m out of commission for a month’my rambling on and on and ignoring that brevity even exists. I’m sure you guys missed my big mouth anyway.
So, like always, I tell the truth so you don’t have to’not like you planned on it anyway.
QUOTE “smiles sweetly in the direction of the Scions, I.D.C, and Heorot”
ooooh….I feel special, you’re talking about me again grins }:-)
Shaarinya Servant of Corruption Immortalis Decretum per Cruor
Not quite. wink
laughs at the mention of her new clan
Well, I know it’s not me - I neither have the coin nor would hire the Splinters to do my own job. Nothing against the Splinters, as I was once one of them - they do a job that some don’t have the courage to do.
Spinner IDC Somora - Love of My Life Shaarinya - Winner of the Best Sire of The Year Award TangibleDeath & Diabla - Best Daughters in the World
If it WAS a Scions member who hired the hit on you, then I would be VERY unhappy with them wasting their coins and acting in such a cowardly fashion. Besides - what would we gain from killing you in a single uncoordinated attack like that?
Murrz ó Cionaoith Forever Bound to Arsanga
Never said YOU’D gain a thing, Murrz. :)
Good to see you back Seyda
pencils in a hair appointment and meanders off snickering
ophelia Lokason ~NiF’s Eternally~