War from the Lawn Chair: Day Four

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Well, as I sat looking for string for my lawn chair, I decided that repairing it was pretty much a lost cause. Since according to Hesu I am inept at the art of picking appropriate ass holding material, I called in the big gun to take care of it for me. So, several hours later, my new chair was delivered, and not only does it look like a small recliner, but a matching chair came with it. As I looked at the ‘Mrs’ embroidery on each chair, I looked over to the big gun and received a look that just screamed, ‘If you say anything, I’ll kill you.’ So, as I sit in my brand new comfy lawn chair for this evening’s battles, my better half is sitting comfortably next to me. So, without further adieu, I introduce you to my wife, Asmia, who will be tag teaming this evening’s report with me.

A: The chairs were delivered and I made sure that they were carefully embroidered to match, being that Seyda had taken a good lashing over her last choice of seating. In pretty cursive lettering, ‘Mrs.’ was neatly embroidered on the back of each one, so we could tell who’s chair was who’s. I would hate to get us confused and sit in the wrong one, but considering we’re both righties, I figured neither of us would reach for the wrong beer in the cup-holder.

A: Sartori ‘ the master of masters of all things war related ‘ was finally taken down last night. I have not the years nor the limelight surrounding me as long as Sartori has’but I am fairly sure being taken down is no fun regardless of the time he’s spent boasting about how he’s nigh impossible to capture and defeat. The question is will the shot to the ego surpass the holy water burns he suffered to the end.

A: The only thing left for us ladies to do is to finish off our drinks and put the chairs away until the next round of fighting and squabbling rears its ugly head. Raising our beer bottles for a toast, only a few things came to mind. ‘A toast to the winners, a toast to the losers. A toast to the unliving and a toast to the dead. Either way, we get to drink our beer and watch them all.”