Dear Lucius: The April Fool’s Special

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Dear Lucius.

Why do some vampires insist on playing April Fool pranks on others but they never hand out those cookies they promised after they yell ‘April Fool’ and embarrass a shitload of people?

Signed: ~E~ the April Fooled </strong>

Dear ~E~ the April Fooled,

That is because they never intended to hand out the cookies; they just intended to crush morale with a dumb smile on their face. I can feel your disappointment so I suggest you tie the pranksters to the bumper of your truck and drag them behind it doing 130mph, stop only to pour alcohol into the bleeding fresh wounds. Then you can tie them all together to a big cactus in the middle of the desert and leave only one hand free. Then you paint all the claws on that free paw with snake poison. Then you empty a full container of ants atop of the cactus, and sit around and wait for the tricksters to start scratching. THAT will be an April Fool’s Day.

I hope this helps,

~Lucius Solves all your problems instantly - or your money back!

Dear myself,

Tell me who I am.

Signed: Lucius</strong>

Dear me,

Of course I could tell you, but then I would have to kill myself.

Stupid April Fool.

~Lucius Solves all your problems instantly - or your money back!



Someone sounds bitter ;)

~Arsanga ó Cionaoith~ Prime Minister of Clan Seraphim Eternally Bound to Murrz Ramirez