Forest for the Trees

2 minute read

It seems that the highly volatile debate about whether or not Ents are immortal has finally been laid to rest. It is without a doubt a controversial topic that has plagued this city’s consciousness for longer than I can remember and I for one am glad we can all finally breathe a sigh of relief at its conclusion.

The Ents have made themselves a household name in this city by sheer dint of will and a rather nonsensical poetic turn of phrase espousing themselves to all an sundry in a method that can only be described as spam like in its repetition. Love or hate the tree people they now have a permanent place in the woodsy more nature loving corner of this city.

Can you truly hate the Ent for what is only their nature? To love and nurture all things Ent-ish? It is hinted that the Ents are slavish in their mission but I find them endearing and childlike in their simplicity. To me they represent an innocence we have lost as vampires. I see an Ent and I smile to myself in witness of their singular tree-esque vigil.

Of course, I’ve wanted to chop one down just to see what kind of sap it bleeds as I’m sure many have, but at the end of the night does the antics of the innocent really bother us so much? Can you not look upon these simple, mindless, almost retarded creatures with a certain measure of pity and well meant condescension?

They now have their own little foresty corner of the city that I can only assume they will play in with exuberant abandon. I can only hope that we don’t have an energy shortfall this winter and the need for wood heat remains low. It would be a severe loss indeed should the good Ents fall prey to our need to keep our toes warm. Because if it’s a choice between my comfort and the lives of the Ents, I’m afraid God Raven will have to enact Forestry Legislation to protect our woody friends because I’ll be the first to clear cut them to throw in my fireplace.

Innocence is all well and good. But a vampire has to have its priorities.

Welcome to the underworld of the undead Entish ones. May your new unlives here outside of Middle Earth be a prosperous one lacking on horriblessess Axesssss and Chainsawssssss.