Dear Lucius: The Valentine’s Special Edition (1)

Dear Lucius, How can I get Lady bondage to go out with me for Valentine’s? Signed: Mia

Ask her.

Dear Lucius, But bondage turned me down. Signed: Mia

Ask her again.

Dear Lucius, But bondage turned me down again. Signed: Mia

Keep asking her.

Dear Lucius, I was arrested for harassment! Signed: Mia

Pheew! Finally.

I hope this helps,

Lucius Solves all your problems instantly - or your money back! ——————————————————–

Dear Lucius,

My problem is quite embarrassing; you see ‘it’ is fairly large, quite a bit larger than anything I’ve ever seen in those videos (you know the kind I mean). So large in fact, that it makes my wife AQelDroma panic, and she doesn’t want to visit any more. I’ve heard that you may also have suffered from this problem, do you have any kind of advice? Please, save my marriage.

Signed: Capadocious</strong>

Those big SUVs are Super Useless Vehicles, anyway. Sell yours, and buy a Mini Cooper. Your wife will think it’s cute. Failing that, may I suggest regular lube jobs, go slow and easy on those hard entries since SUV’s are known for being top heavy.

I hope this helps,

Lucius Solves all your problems instantly - or your money back!